Posted February 14, 2013 by Cooper Point Journal in Letters & Opinion
 
 

Wasted Advice: 2/14/13


How do I get over a cold?

Sincerely,

Asfgsjkdf

Gurl drank some hot toddies and that’s gonna clear the f*ck up

As an attractive rich white man, how do I find my place in Olympia and my purpose at Evergreen?

Insincerely,

Dude with ‘Tude

My dude, with that abserd money buy the shit outta urban outfiters and the local thrif store and you’ll fit right in. The white thing is sorta inforgivable but not different from the rest of the most of us so just talk about hating white privelege and youre all good

How do I balance a  soul-crushingly intense course load with my desire to keep up with my extra-curricular activities?

Regards,

Mr. Motivated

If buy extracuricularz with a z you mean drinking I advise you drink during classes. Best case senario:alcohol. Worst case: losing your grant money

How can I take my anarchist tendencies down a constructive avenue?

Argh,

H8’in the State

Stop holding in your farts. You’ll be much more comfortable and realize the brilanxe of the free market

Sometimes I slip on the wet bricks, how can I learn to coordinate my body without looking like I have a bad yogatude?

Self-consciously,

Slippin’ n’ Slidin’

Try wearing shoes.

I accidentally liked a Macklemore song without realizing it and feel extremely ashamed. How do I move on?”

Head-shakingly Yours,

Mack-no-More

You are irreparably damaged. You may tell your self it was a one time slip up but in reality you have pulled back a dark curtain on a disgusting stage of your life. You are now a less whole person.

Yours Truely,

Edgar Allen Macallen