I made a great amount of money at the Craft fair last week and would love to continue to sell my crafts, but I don’t know how/where to get started. I am nervous about trying etsy.com because I am a busy student and won’t be able to update the site frequently with new crafts, making it difficult to establish a fan base. Do you know any local low-key places to sell my stuff?

-Anxious Crafter

Craft Fair…Continuing selling crafts… etsy.com… fan base… sell… Hey, believe in yourself and just do set up in outside in red square every day. But then again etsy.com is a pretty easy to use site and worth investing in. Given I’m in no state to tell anyone what to do financially, you should DEFINETLY take this advice, LIKE RIGHT NOW!

I go to Evergreen, but I’m scared of hippies, what do I do?

-Yunita Bath

Scared of hippies? First, look at your name: Yunita Bath. You were born with dread locks. Don’t fear the geoduck within. I know Iatidn’t and look at me? I’m answering questions for a student news paper. Hippies have made me into a better member of the world. And if you dint like the life style, go and apply to Saint Martains, chump.

How do I become “edgy” so girls at Evergreen will like me?

-Dull dude

What? What are with these damn questions! Look, money, you can’t play these women. Evergreen is in Washington state, which is in the pacific northwest, which is in the US, which is the richest nation in the world, on a speck in the damn universe. Think about that before walking up to this individual and making a fool of yourself. Ladies live it when you make a fool of yourself.

I’m 22 years old and I still want to be like Mike. What should I do?

-Mike not Ike

Bow Wow did it at 11. That’s only half your age. Don’t feel too bad… or maybe you should.

I’ve never been to Jake’s on Fourth, what should I expect?

-Bi-so-curious

Bi-So-Courious, as a self-descriebed “freak”, I pride myself on my dance moves. No bar allows you to truly get down and break people off with your dance moves then Jakes. Unless you want to go to Jezzabells. In that case, I’d advise you to bring a pair of iron-knuckles and pepper spray.