Posted April 11, 2013 by Cooper Point Journal in Letters & Opinion
 
 

Wasted Advice: 4/11/13


Why do hospitals in Singapore use such terrible painkillers?

-Singapore Sling

Everyone knows that Singapore hates drugs and they hate you.

Why are people afraid to go to Le Voyeur?

-Voy for Joy

Firstly, they serve forties of Steele Reserve. If that’s not terrifying I dunno what is. Second, there are about five tables in the bar reserved for regulars so there better be live music for you to stand around awkwardly to or you’re out of luck. Third, their bathrooms literally have layers of graffiti screaming ugly things at you while you’re just trying to relieve yourself. It’s very off-putting.

What do you do at a barbeque if you’re a vegan?

-Beat the Meat

What the fuck did you expect at a bbq? Grilled squash? Maybe a nice veggie medley? There’s a reason why most barbeque’s are BYOM (Bring Your Own Meat). The closest thing to a vegan friendly thing you’ll find at a bbq is beer.

And NO.

It’s not Gluten-Free.

Give me a way to describe the difference between metaphysics and ontology in lay-men’s terms, and give a meaningful juxtaposition of the two.

-Parmenides

WTF?

Do you ever have conflicts with a girl just so hip it’s the same as your mom?

-Oedipus

ALSO, WTF?!?

What do you think happens when Beyonce and Jay-Z are making sweet love?

-God

This question is way too mind boggling to even give it any real thought. It’s like thinking about how insignificant you are compared to the universe. Beyonce and Jay-Z doing the dirty is probably the equivalent of Magnum, and I’m not talking about the condoms. Just knowing that they are out there doing it brings me peace.

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

-Charlie Wood

This is an old card to play my friend. I’m not falling for it.