Posted April 25, 2013 by Cooper Point Journal in Letters & Opinion
 
 

Wasted Advice: 4/25/13


I went to Rainy Day Records to get an LP that is so obscure they didn’t even know how to order it. Am I a hipster?

-Not That I Care

First off, hippies don’t know how to use computers, so of course they aren’t going to know how to order anything in todays world. The fact that you are asking the question “Am I a hipster?” leads me to believe that no, you are not a hipsters, because a hipster doesn’t know its a hipster. Only wannabe hipsters actually refer to themselves as hipsters.

I have questions but I don’t want them to sound like they’re from me.

-NA

I don’t know what you sound like, because these questions are submitted via email/text, so just ask the question.

I’ve always wanted an entire pizza in my mouth at once. How do I accomplish this?

-Hungry Hungry Hippie

Why don’t you just eat pizza rolls? You can fit a whole one of those in your mouth easily and still have the same great taste! Or, if you really want to do it, take notes from Liz Lemon and shotgun that shit.

thom yorke tattoo

CybYorke

Seriously? This is serious? Thom Yorke with a nipple eye? Who the fuck does that?

Should I go see a psychic?

-Dorothy & the Gang

Signs point to yes.

Can you transfer out of Evergreen?

-Conservative

Good luck with that one.

Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like? Furthermore, can you really be far even as decided half as much to use go wish for that?

-Tyler

I had to put my computer down for a minute after reading that question.

How do you get over an addiction to a person?

-Stuck On You

The same way you get over an addiction to anything, just substitute it with something else. I suggest substituting a person with weed. Nothing bad comes from smoking weed, only happiness.

How do you convince yourself to stop procrastinating and get work done? Even when its work you hate…

-to do: pick name

If I can answer these questions while high as fuck, then you can get your fucking work done. Stop procrastinating and just get it over with.