Posted October 23, 2014 by Cooper Point Journal in Uncategorized
 
 

Wasted Advice



Greetings. Welcome to Wasted Advice, wherein you ask for advice and I continue to get drunk and advise you. We both win. You can ask me the questions you can’t ask your resident advisor.

How do I deal with my chronic addiction to selfies? don’t.  idk who made us all think that narcissism was a bad thing, i guess the bible, whatever.  not the point.  take thousands of selfies! millions of selfies!! make an insta and a tumblr and convince people they’re art & you are on your way to getting #internetfamous which really is the dream, you don’t need employable skills if you’re hot and self absorbed.  good luck baby become a selfie queen <3333

How can I be a high functioning alcoholic? well i guess this depends on if you want are already an alcoholic who wants to be high functioning or just like a normal whatever non alcoholic person in which case the first step is to start drinking.  Olympia is a great plave to be a highfunctiojning alcoholic because you don’t really have to work that much or do that much to be considered functioning.  get a job dishwashing or cooking where you only work twice a week don’t drink on those days live in a cheap shit hole (i suggest an attic or garage its cold but whiskey helps with that) and you know be drunk all the time take adderal to go to work when you and chillllllll

What truly is a slutty Halloween costume? everything is slutty if you act slutty slutty is just an way of life

My parents saw a picture of me smoking on facebook what do I do? i assume if youre asking me this youre in college so like stop fgiving a fuck what your parents think grow up move on etc etc.  Youre an adult you can slowly kill yourself in a stupid way if you want and don’t let them tell you shit!!

Where’s the best spot to make out and/or have sex on campus? The only place i’ve had sex on campus is the gender neutral bathroom in the basement library building.  it was stupid. i hate standing up during sex and someone knocked on the door cuz they needed to vaccuum. you should probably m.oin the woods that’s #romantic

How can I join Bikini Kill? Toby Vail’s on OPIUM ask her it can’t be that hard

Punk is dead—what do I do with my black flag tattoo? punk is dead in the real world but thank god we live in olymppia where nothing has died since the nineties and your blah flag tattoo can still get you laid, as long as you don’t leave youre find and you probably already drank the well water anyway