Posted October 7, 2015 by Cooper Point Journal in Wasted Advice
 
 

Wasted Advice



Greetings. Welcome to Wasted Advice, wherein you ask for advice and I continue to get drunk and advise you. We both win. You can ask me the questions you can’t ask your resident advisor.

I keep dating boys but like that blows how do I stop having crushes on them and also how do I stop being intimidated by cute queer girls also why am I so bad at being gay?

boys are weird and gross but i guess also kind of alluring? idk i dont date boys and it rules and i bet you are great at being gay! just try it! ask someone out and take them on a cute date to look at plants or make them food or something. also girls are way easier to date then boys and way more fun.

I have a crush on someone but I think they are enemies of one of my frnds but I can’t remember who, should I not try to makeout or just like dgaf?

you should probably try and listen 2 yr friends and not date their enemies that is really sketch imo. like, your friend probably doesn’t like them for a reason! imo its really not chill to fuck w that shit u should put yr friends first. dating is weird anyways. but really, dont date your friends enemies. even tho your friends say they dont feel weird about it they probably do.

I wanna have frnds but I hate the stupid socializing part can I skip the going to shows parties and just move on to the having sleep overs and eating each others food w.o asking?

yeah just ask them and try and have one on one time w them. u just gotta be intentional about it and tell them how cool they are i bet they think you are cool too! same thing with dating people but sometimes its weird to like, ask someone out but in a friends way?

If I stare into the abyss, does the abyss stares back into me?

no, the abyss was probably just looking at the person behind you.

How do I break it to my partner that I want to leave them?

honestly you just gotta tell them. you aren’t making anything easier by waiting. just tell them how you feel and be honest w/ yr feelings. otherwise that shit is gonna drag out and get messier everyday. u owe it to them to tell them because otherwise you are just towing them along. it’s a fallacy to think that you’re protecting their feelings by not telling them.

What is the best beer to have with whiskey?

beer is mostly kind of gross so just get a cheap beer because it mostly all tastes the same.

Why are there so many weirdos on dating sites and where have all the good men gone?

there no good men you should date other people who aren’t men. really tho.

What video game should I play next?

journey or portal. they are the best games. most video games are bad though try a board game or just going on the internet. katamari is good too. mostly video games are really bad tho.

How can I talk to hot olympia famous punks?

you probably shouldn’t most of them are jerks. weirdos and nerds are the people you should hang out with. like, i bet that person who never talks in your class is way more interesting then all of those punk bros.

How do I break in new shoes?

kick someone in the head.