Greetings. Welcome to Wasted Advice, wherein you ask for advice and I continue to get drunk and advise you. We both win. You can ask me the questions you can’t ask your resident advisor.

What do you do when you have a huge crush on your friend and he has a crush on you and you’ve both talked about it extensively, but you haven’t hooked up yet because your best friend used to like him and still has a little thing for him and also does not want you to date anyone in the “friend group”? ok friends and feelings and within a friend group is hard. I get that. u got to weigh the options, do u like this qt, are u infatuated with them or like dazed and confused by just being around them. If any of those 2, I’d say make a move. impulsive decisions are great, u can deal with the “freind group” later. if they are ur good friends they should understand. good vibzz with u.

Why do people in Washington not know how to drive in the rain? IDK.  like she doesn’t EVEN GO HERE!!!

Last night I had a dream about my high school sweetheart. It’s been two years since I spoke to him, and I can’t remember ever apologizing. He deserves one. I left when he needed me most and I was dumb and 17. I’m 21 now, wiser, realize I’m a heartbreaker. Now that I understand, what do I do? Lol the subconscious loves Bein 15 ya know? Cause I know. And it’s ok. I have nightmares on a p reg basis about past relationships but that never convinces me to talk to them! But eh. You gotta consider your subconscious as a valid but somewhat skewed source of info. Also apologizing after four years is Not Fun so I’d say that dude, he’s got shit in his dreambrain too, meld if you want.

I’m p sure my teacher doesn’t like me and im embarrassingly concerned about it how do i stop being such a nerd and dgaf instead? Ok so like first things first, u do not need the approval of anyone. u are a might fierce force of intellectual greatness. but like if u wanna be a teacherz pet because that’s cool too, make a mixtape or send them some poetry or something. ok. But dgaf if this prof is unworthy. dgaf because not caring is cool sometimes.

What song should i sing at karaoke if i really want to ‘bring the down’? wowwwwww ok I love songs. ok hands down some Elton John, or like if ur feeling vindictive get on the Carly Simon “you’re so vain” but wow bringing down the house (lol that’s a hella good song too) u got to, U MUST do MIA’s “PAPER PLANES”  north. American. Scum. But only at the fuckin bowling alley because their infrastructure is entirely YouTube based.

How many coats is too many coats? there is no so such thing. I will not entertain a lack of warmth or aesthetic appeal in coat wear. hello layer on them coats. COAts on coats on coats. coat urself.