Posted March 9, 2016 by Cooper Point Journal in Wasted Advice
 
 

Wasted Advice

Greetings. Welcome to Wasted Advice, wherein you ask for advice and I continue to get drunk and advise you. We both win. You can ask me the questions you can’t ask your resident advisor.

what the most cost effective food options on campus? i cant always bring my own lunch and beverages but also i am broke! idk but like cigarettes are a p good appittie supprecant since evrythings such a fcukin scam and like not teh good kinda scam yknow [redacted] is p easy to steal from/ omg i cant say any of this i gotta shut up!!! flaming eggplanty is chill 2 the grain and bean is the cheapest &&the chiliicheesfry special is the shit like best deal and so yum

how do i get ride of my pores and get perfect cgi kardashian skin instead? dude idk but honestly fucking same like so much i thinkk @arabellesicardi like deleted her pores but theyre also like on their own plane i dont know shit about that also like exfholiatinggg all bout the exfohliatin i love it i been scrubbin w charchoal bub and ya i really dont know though im a messy slut and sleep in my makeup and only mosturize like three times a week so whom the fuck am i tknow

What unique chemical properties characterize anarchist spit? hahaha this is like some inside joke shit so idk if we should even be tryna publish that but like i guess im the boss so like jokes on you i can fuckn ublish whatever i goddamn plz oh ya anonyminity lol ya but anyway dear readers the joke is the one time this reporter for kironews one i think or maybe someone else idk even remember who she was a reporter for but like anyway this reporter got real mad an anarchist spit on her car and it was real funny and we made fun of her a lot and ya thats the jokee

romantic evening with ted cruz or eat linguini alfredo off a truck stop bathroom floor? explain

lmaoo eww but like tbhonestly romantic eve w teddy cruz aka zodiac killerr bc like a? i been in hella truck stop bathroooms and that shit gross as fuck like so goddamn disgusting i would never eat anything of thefloor there also like alfredo is a particularly fucked up choice omg im literally gagging and B like even through ted crus is creepy an i hate am and he looks sooo freaky but like i probly he would just tak me too a nice ass returatnt and then id like eat some pasta real quick and drink a bunch a drinks that he would pay 4 then be like “’ahhwhww im drunkky call me an uber’ and go home 2bed

how do i find the perfect leather jacket? this is like lifes ultimate mission its so hard it took me like 6 mnths of vvv intense shopping to find mine it was ,ike so brutal idk though you just gotta like be dedicated and know yr dream

how do i get internet famous for my boring millennial web art? gr8 question so like 1rst be hot but like kinda weird freaky style hot but still obviously hot post lots of selfies have ssomesort of generic libfem messagees that can still brand itself as edgy and idk like theres more #jokes 2make but im gettin sleepy