Posted April 6, 2016 by Cooper Point Journal in Letters & Opinion
 
 

Wasted Advice



Is the Trans-Pacific Partnership an effort to impose a policy of economic encirclement on China, and if so, what will its effect be on the Spratly Islands dispute?

 

I asked this qwestion but nobody else wants to answer it so yeah I think it is meant to encircle china. this probably won’t help tho because china and pakistan have pretty close ties and pakistan can give china access to its ports. also china is investing in africa and south Ameirca like its building a canal in nicaragua and a dam in ethiopia which means it won’t be as reliant on its neighbors for trade. either way tho if drumpf is elected we’re gonna go to war with china and it’ll become wwiii and we’ll all probably die. anyway, fuck the tpp because its more neoliberal capitalist bullshit and we shouldnt sacrifice americans jobs to bully china

 

what is the best way to resolve shitty roommate vibes?

 

that depends on what you mean by shitty vibes. if theyre just like not cleaning up after themselves start hiding their shit around the house so they have to clean up just to find whatever they’re looking for. but if they’re straight up being an asshole you have to establish dominance. lay siege to their room with a nerf gun and a cat pee waterbaloon until they run out of supplieds and are forced to accept your terms. if you have multiple roommates, use this opportunity to intimidate them so they stay in line. you have to make sure they know that you’re in charge and that they shouldn’t fuck with you. it helps to have more than one cat pee waterballoon. nobody wants to clean cat pee off of their bedspread.

 

my back hurts from using a backpack, what should i do?

 

get a dog and one of those sherpa packs for people who bring their dogs on backpacking trips. that way you don’t have back pain but you also have a dog. you could also just use one of those backpacks with wheels on it

 

what is the best type of dog? what is the best name for a dog?

 

trick question ALL DOGS ARE THE BEST TYPE OF DOG. also you can’t pick just one best type of dog you have to pick dufferent ones based on size. like the best small dog is totally a pug because look at a pug’s face I mean come on tell me that isn’t the best small dog you’ve ever seen. The best large dog is a leonberger because it looks like a goddam lion and if you made a little dog chariot you could have your leonberger tow your pug on it. as far as names go, all good names are either european monarchs or game of thrones characters. if i had a pug i would name it khal drogo