Posts Tagged ‘humor’
 
 
 
Letters & Opinion
 

Can you whittle wood? What!!?!?!??????!??!!!!!!! This is what you ask a drunk person? To play with sharp knives? No. What is your favorite hip hop song and why? Hip hop and rap have been so mixed together that I’m not sure what you’re asking me right now but I really wanna listen to Please Don’t Go by Mike Posner so I hope that’s a good  because idk where I’m at right now Thats my sugstion 2k17. I found a weed pipe at my house after the riot party at my house, is it yours? No. My job is to answer questions for a newspaper. I don’t go to all y’all parties. You don’t know who I am and I don’t know who you are, what kinda question is this? As a light skinned pocleftist how can I possibly make friends in Olympia? Step one: Go to Mccoys at about 8pm on a Thursday. Arder the most librel arts student drink you can think of. Something along the lines of an AMF or a Long Island iced tea. Carry your Sylvia plath book to the smokers section ...

 
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Greetings. Welcome to Wasted Advice, wherein you ask for advice and I continue to get drunk and advise you. We both win. You can ask me the questions you can’t ask your resident advisor. how do you balance staying aware and involved, with keeping yourself mentally healthy, given that the world is shit? Read, BITCH u don’t. Idk what the fick is happebing here. Love urself! Take care! Love ur friends! Make soup to share! Shine bright like a diamond! Rhianna gets it [heart emoji] listen to her. Our goddess. Our momther. how do you form community when it seems like everybody is shitty to each other? and especially when power dynamics aren’t respected in a lot of space Find gentle friends, talk about your gentle nature openly and transparently if we were to make queer/trans symbols that didn’t use the male/female symbols as a base, what shapes would we use instead? Shapes of planets and stars !!!! my friends won’t agree on wh...

 
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Greetings. Welcome to Wasted Advice, wherein you ask for advice and I continue to get drunk and advise you. We both win. You can ask me the questions you can’t ask your resident advisor. Is there anyway around seeing people in oly who I’ve previously iced, other than moving or never leaving my house? Just irl ice them. Like just dont acknowledge theyre there if you see them. idk take the step to like actualky exolain you dont wanna be there friend or really be in there presenxe. Its way harder than icing someone but if its really making you wanna move or stay inside its gotta be better than being stuck i wanna get laid but I feel like the only ppl who show interest in me are men and like...it’s not fair I’m feelin like drake out here wishing for my dream girl :( Drakes seeing jlo last i heard. So in that note id say maybe just make sure you dont get caught on nikkis and riris and dream girls that you gotta get through like 2 cds to...

 
Community
 

By Sarah Bradley & Danny Loose Here in Washington, weed dispensaries have become a welcome addition to otherwise typical shopping centers. The sale of recreational marijuana to the public began on July 8 2014. Even though it has been a while since initiative 502 passed, which licenses and regulates the production, distribution, and possession of marijuana, it has taken a while for new retailers to open. Pot shops continue to open up around the area for folks over the age of 21 to purchase cannabis products to be consumed in the privacy of their home. As a WA resident, long gone are the days of awkwardly lingering around your dealer’s apartment, unsure of when ‘polite conversation’ has maxed out and desperately hoping you don’t get pulled into a two hour affair when they start reminiscing about their favorite scenes from Pineapple Express. No longer will you loiter around a 7-11 parking lot to score some over-priced and question...

 
Community
 

By Nix Chace and Sarah Bradley It is not much of a secret that our little campus, tucked away in the woods, is lacking when it comes to accessible food at all hours of the night. Sure, there is the lower-campus POD, open seven days a week for a dorm-dwellers munchie fix, The Flaming Eggplant provides locally sourced food while promoting education for food justice, and apparently the Einstein Bro’s put coffee in their coffee. The greenery is also an option...we’ll let you be the judge of that one. Excluding the student-run Flaming Eggplant, Evergreen dining services are in contract with Aramark services, a global-wide provider of “food, facilities, and uniforms.” Looking for cheap and easy food on campus becomes further difficult for the numerous evening and weekend students, a time when many of the aforementioned food options are closed. While it is worth swinging by police services to load up on applesauce or granola bars, there i...

 
Wasted Advice
 
 

Wasted Advice

 
March 9, 2016



Greetings. Welcome to Wasted Advice, wherein you ask for advice and I continue to get drunk and advise you. We both win. You can ask me the questions you can’t ask your resident advisor. what the most cost effective food options on campus? i cant always bring my own lunch and beverages but also i am broke! idk but like cigarettes are a p good appittie supprecant since evrythings such a fcukin scam and like not teh good kinda scam yknow [redacted] is p easy to steal from/ omg i cant say any of this i gotta shut up!!! flaming eggplanty is chill 2 the grain and bean is the cheapest &&the chiliicheesfry special is the shit like best deal and so yum how do i get ride of my pores and get perfect cgi kardashian skin instead? dude idk but honestly fucking same like so much i thinkk @arabellesicardi like deleted her pores but theyre also like on their own plane i dont know shit about that also like exfholiatinggg all bout the exfohl...

 
Arts & Entertainment
 

By Jules Prosser We went undercover. We didn’t know why or how, but we were on a quest for “the truth”. Carol got a fancy secret recorder from Media Loan, and I didn’t even have to ask her to do that, even though I considered it. I needed her—she was good at this shit, and knew what was up. Carol never fails. Since we were incognito, we had to have fake identities. I suggested porn star names because I’m fucking boring. Carol had a better idea. We both have bags with different names Sharpied on them. “Carol” is on hers, obviously, and “Alexis” is on mine. She suggested we use them. She’s so smart. Carol was a standard hot Bo Peep, pink and pretty, with her cascading red hair and garter belt. I dressed up as a maenad, AKA a slutwife of Dionysus, AKA a crazy creature who incites drunken orgies. It was a recycled Halloween costume, but fuck it. I looked okay in my ill-fitting red dress and janky papier-mâchéd horns. My companion lent...

 
Wasted Advice
 

What do u think of this fucked up cold weather we've been having? I love cold weather, it’s not even cold yet wait till it gets like……………………………..winter. Why is it that we are always looking for waldo? Who is waldo why is waldo and where is waldo? I’m fucking waldo bitch surprise! why do you call a building a building when it is already built? I don’t fucking know ask Jesus like what even is punk? well like Nirvana i have a bunch of parking tickets i haven't paid, what should i do? Pay them duhhhhh! pick up line halp i'm s0000 $hy are your pants on sale? cause they’re 100% off at my house. What do you think of the man bun? man bun fucking stupid Would you rather wear clown make up the rest of your life or shave your eyebrows? Shave my eyebrows I have fucked up eyebrows and I hate clowns.

 
Wasted Advice
 
 

Wasted Advice

 
May 28, 2015



Greetings. Welcome to Wasted Advice, wherein you ask for advice and a different member of our talented staff answers each week—drunk. We both win. You can ask us the questions you can’t ask your resident advisor. How does one become confident in their day to day life? wow i wish I knew. I think confidence is mostly about pretending that you’re confident and eventually that becomes real. like sometimes when I feel like everything is hopeless I just pretend that everything is great and usually that does work but somtimes it does? idk. wear more crop tops. i constantly feel like im running out of time and like im a complete waste of space, help Hey guess what. I feel that all the time. You are a perfect snowflake and I love you so much. yr not a waste o space because space is there to be inhabited okay?? how can the CPJ become interesting / relevant / less hopeless Honestly are you fucking kidding me right now?? Like don’t...

 
Community
 

By Ira Zuckerman For the sole purpose of this article, I inhaled the vapors at the South Sound Vapor Lounge. Usually, all an outsider sees through the heavy fog are scattered crowds of hunched-over smokers. Once through the door, I entered a world of vapor. Now, it was the outside world which seemed hazy. 6:30 on a Saturday night meant five or six of the regulars loudly vaping at the back counter, a handful of customers waiting around the register, and a couple of dudes loitering around the tasting counter. When I visited, I was one of those dudes. “Hi, can I help you?” a middle-aged woman strolling over from the back counter asked. She introduced herself as Margo Pierini, co-proprietor of the business. “I’m looking to try out some flavors,” I said. “Well, do you currently vape?” she asked. “Ah, no.” I started to say, when Pierini cut me off and addressed the group of customers she had just left. “Hey!” she shouted to ...