Hello! Welcome to BODY PARTY, a space to talk about sex, relationships, health, identity, and being a freak! Each week, our anonymous resident Body Partier will take YOUR questions and answer them, judgement free! To have your questions answered in print, send us a Q at ask.fm/CPJBodyParty!
Dear Body Party,
What’s up with the sober dating scene here? Or rather, lack thereof? I recently stopped drinking and I’m already feeling so much better but I don’t feel ready to go back into bars and stuff. Where else is there to meet other cute queers, let alone find a cutie sweetie?
Yours,
Sexy, Sensual, and Sober in the South Sound
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Hello, my sober bud!
First, congrats! Knowing what you need and taking steps toward your health, despite it being really hard at times, is no small feat! We here at the CPJ stan a sober cutie! Good job and good luck and also you got this!
But yeah, I totally feel you. Personally, I’m not sober but also I hate bars for other reasons. I totally get why people are into that, but also some people aren’t and that’s totally real! In the meantime though, don’t fret. There are options for us!
I know it sounds corny, but hear me out: You’re already dorky enough to be reading your campus newspaper, so why not try out a campus club or something? Extracurriculars are dorky and fake, I will admit that. I think they also don’t matter when you graduate. But you know what else they are? They’re literally a room full of people who share at least one interest with you. And on this campus, it’s statistically improbable that you’ll ever be in a room full of people who are both cis and straight. I say try it out. Maybe you’ll make some cool friends who like doing fiber arts or making comics just like you! Maybe you and a cool person you’ve met will become best friends and then you’ll be like “Hey, do you want come over to my place and watch Neon Genesis Evangelion and make comics and fiber arts?” and then you two hold hands while watching mech anime! Maybe not! Either way, what’s the worst that’ll happen? Worth a shot.
If you’re not feeling like joining a club, all hope is not lost. Try, like, talking to your classmates. Take a chance and invite that cute person in your seminar to an early show at Le Voy. Be chill and strike up a conversation with that person at Burial Grounds who has glasses you think are cute! Just remember not to be a creep and that no is always a totally cool answer. Say “Oh, haha! Cool! Thanks anyways though it was cool to talk!” and not something freakish. Don’t be freakish and weird, please! Be cool!
Don’t worry, my soberoni, my sobmarine. Fret not, my sobway sandwich. You’ll find your way. There’s a lot of love in this world for you, and booze isn’t needed to find it. It’ll come!
Stay strong and sexy, babes!
Body Party
